As soon as the school holidays begin, many parents of children with ADHD will recognise this all-too-familiar scenario: you ask your child to put down the phone or games console, only for them to play even more intensely. The more you try to reason with them, the more they argue back or even explode in anger.
It’s a situation that leaves many parents feeling utterly powerless.
For numerous families, the holidays are meant to be a time for the child to relax, yet it often turnsily turns into days spent gaming from morning till night—meals require calling them ten times, bedtime gets pushed later and later, and the moment you say “stop playing,” the child erupts.
This pattern is remarkably common. Research indicates that around 5–6 out of every 100 children may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The condition is diagnosed more frequently in boys, who often appear restless, constantly on the move—like a train that has jumped the tracks, charging about with little self-control.
There is, however, another subtype that is easily overlooked: the predominantly inattentive presentation. These children may seem relatively calm outwardly and do not run around or fidget excessively, but their minds race like a runaway horse, jumping from thought to thought without pause. This type is more common in girls.
Today, I’d like to explore this issue together: why do children with ADHD become particularly prone to gaming addiction during long holidays? Why does the more we try to stop them, the more defiant they become? And, most importantly, what can parents do?
Let’s start by understanding ADHD and how these children’s brains work.
Children with ADHD typically have normal intelligence, but the activity in the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for “executive functions”—is reduced. Executive functions include abilities such as planning, organisation, impulse control, remembering instructions, shifting attention, and sustaining motivation.
They often struggle to suppress irrelevant thoughts, process information more slowly, make more mistakes, and have weaker working memory. This makes it hard to translate thoughts into actions, frequently skipping steps in tasks. Perhaps most challenging is their difficulty regulating motivation and effort—once something fails to interest them, their drive vanishes completely.
Because of these challenges, school is already very demanding. They struggle to concentrate for long periods or engage deeply with material, so academic performance often lags. Even when teachers or parents repeat instructions, errors and oversights persist. Over time, teachers, peers, parents, and the children themselves begin to view them as lazy, unintelligent, or disobedient. This erodes self-esteem, triggers emotional difficulties and oppositional behaviour, and further diminishes motivation to learn.
These difficulties do not simply disappear with age.
If not addressed early, they can persist into adulthood, affecting organisation, reliability, and perseverance at work, which in turn impacts career stability. If you recognise these signs in your child, please seek assessment at a child psychiatry clinic as soon as possible.
Back to the main question: why does the problem become especially severe during holidays? Why can’t they stop once they start gaming?
The answer lies in how cleverly electronic games are designed. They offer instant rewards, vivid audiovisual stimulation, and a constant sense of achievement—level after level—perfectly compensating for these children’s difficulties in self-motivating. At school, structure and teacher supervision help them cope, but when the holidays arrive and the timetable disappears, children with weak executive functioning easily become “stuck” in the game, unable to shift their attention elsewhere.
Many of these children also experience a state of low arousal—they feel sluggish, spaced out, or daydreamy—and games provide an immediate surge of excitement that pulls them out of that state. So it is not that they deliberately refuse to stop; they genuinely find it extremely difficult to disengage.
When parents try to intervene, the child often argues, throws tantrums, or becomes openly defiant.
This happens because most traditional parenting strategies—explaining calmly, then punishing if ignored, and eventually confiscating the device—simply do not work well with ADHD children. Research shows that the primary driver of their behaviour and emotions is impaired executive functioning. The more you demand an immediate “switch off now,” the more overwhelmed their mind becomes, the less able they are to comply, and the more punishment or criticism they receive, the greater their sense of failure. Negative emotions then erupt, and opposition towards you intensifies.
The angrier the parent becomes, the more the child feels “I’ve failed again,” and a vicious cycle of defiance begins.
The good news is that evidence-based treatments exist, and parents can—and should—be actively involved in helping their child regain focus and self-control.
Treatment generally focuses on three main areas, with the best outcomes achieved when all three are combined.
The crucial point is that relying solely on willpower or traditional discipline is unlikely to succeed with ADHD children. We must target the core executive-function deficits through training and environmental support so that success becomes achievable. Once children experience “I can do this,” their confidence and motivation gradually return, and oppositional behaviour naturally decreases.
Finally, to all parents who are struggling: you are not alone, and this is not a reflection of poor parenting. Your child is not deliberately opposing you; their brain simply needs extra support.
If your child shows similar patterns, please arrange a professional assessment with a child psychiatrist as early as possible. Early intervention can spare them—and you—many unnecessary difficulties in education, daily life, and future career.
I truly believe that, with the right support, you and your child can navigate these challenges and restore joyful family time together.
